When She Knocks
by daysareforliving
Summary: Anna's knocks may get annoying, but they give Elsa hope. If only Elsa could allow herself the joy of being with her sister.


She rarely joined her family for dinner anymore. After her last episode, Papa stopped requesting that she did. Mama made sure that Elsa's meals were sent to her room.

Elsa supposed she preferred it this way.

Anna definitely did not.

Of course, Anna came knocking at her door almost everyday anyway. _Do you want to go play outside? Elsa, I saw a duckling! Wanna go see? I found this hidden room, Elsa. I know you'd love it. _

Anna shouldn't have been putting up with her. Anna had better things to do than to try and get her to play. Anna deserved so much better.

But still, with every knock, Anna brought Elsa a new adventure. She could imagine that she was scaling the roof with her little sister to watch the sunset. She could feel the cool water of the pond splashing at her toes. She danced with Anna in the ballroom to a pretend orchestra. In these daydreams, Elsa never wore her gloves.

As Elsa stopped coming to supper, however, Anna became even more persistent in her visits. _Elsa, you missed what we had for dessert today. Would you like me to bring you some? If you come to dinner tonight, I'll let you have all of my cake. _

"Please leave, Anna," Elsa muttered, too quiet for Anna to hear. She rubbed her forehead and tried to continue her book.

This was torture. Why couldn't Anna see that? Elsa dug her face into the book and covered her ears.

"Go away. Go away. Go away," she chanted to herself. Eventually, Anna did leave, as she always did.

Elsa had already made her decision. Anna didn't have to beg. Elsa never ate with her family anymore, but tomorrow was different. Tomorrow was Anna's twelfth birthday.

Anna wanted to see her so much. Maybe Elsa's presence at dinner could be her gift to Anna. No, this was not a gift. Elsa was just too selfish to stay away from Anna.

Anna didn't come to Elsa's door the next day – she was too busy enjoying the small festivities their parents made for her. In the hours before Anna's birthday dinner, Elsa couldn't sit still.

What should she wear? She was just eating dinner, but it was also Anna's birthday. Elsa spent ten minutes deciding between purple and blue gloves, eventually settling on her usual white. She tied her hair back, double-checking in the mirror to make sure every strand was in place. She straightened her jacket and glanced at the clock. Dinnertime.

Mama and Papa smiled at Elsa when she entered the dining room. Anna wasn't there yet. She took the seat next to her mother, the one farthest from Anna's usual spot.

Her stomach was suddenly in tangles, her heart beating too fast. Mama was talking to her – did she get a gift for Anna? Elsa shook her head "no". She really was an awful sister. Mama and Papa didn't seem to mind, however, and they spoke with her anyway; about mundane things mostly – Elsa's studies and those poems that Mama had given her.

Elsa started when she heard the creak of the door opening. And in stumbled a gasping Anna –fifteen minutes late, Elsa noted. The bottom of her dress was soaking wet. Elsa stifled a giggle.

Anna glanced up at the table. She froze as she met Elsa's eyes.

"Happy birthday, Anna," Elsa said.

Anna was grinning from cheek to cheek now. She opened her mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. Finally, she settled with a "Thank you, Elsa," and sat down.

As they ate, Anna regaled everyone with tales of her birthday day – catching butterflies and climbing trees and trying to float with the baby geese in the pond. Elsa bit back a smile as Papa lightly reprimanded Anna for swimming without permission.

"Maybe we can bike around the garden tomorrow!"

Elsa froze. Anna was looking at her hopefully.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Elsa mumbled.

"But why not?"

"I can't, Anna," Elsa felt the cold coming.

"But _why_?"

Papa stepped in, "Anna–"

"I just can't, Anna!" Elsa snapped.

"Why don't you like me anymore?" Anna's eyes were beginning to tear over.

The ice was building up. Elsa stood out of her seat so quickly that she knocked her plate off the table, shattering it. Elsa just stared at the shards before remembering where she was. She looked up to her parents. Mama's eyes were red. Papa gave his nod of consent to leave. Elsa ran out of the room.

The power was building. She had to get to her room, away from everyone like the monster she was. She had to keep everyone safe.

"Elsa, wait!"

Elsa didn't need to turn around to know who it was. She kept going – she was almost to her room.

"Elsa, I'm sorry!" Anna grabbed Elsa's arm.

Elsa gasped, whirling around and yanking away from Anna's grasp.

"Don't touch me!" Elsa yelled, "Don't _ever_ touch me!"

"I – I'm sorry –"

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" The ice needed an escape, but Anna was too close. Elsa took a deep breath. _Don't feel. Don't feel._

And then she looked back at Anna.

Her arms were behind her back; she was curled up, leaning away from Elsa. Tears were falling freely down her cheek. Shock. Sadness. Hurt. Anna looked at her as if Elsa had just slapped her.

Elsa couldn't take it. She fled to her room, slamming the door closed and letting everything release. Ice crept to every corner of the room.

Elsa sobbed, hidden in her own blizzard.

Anna's knocks stopped coming after that.


End file.
